God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”
Throwback to when I took acid for the first time in 2013 and predicted the events of 2020 like the fucking oracle of Delphi
new femme-only 7-11 opened on my street
Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharaoh’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharaoh’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly
Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharaoh’s wrath
found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought “wait this is cruel I should let it outside” as if it was a living thing
LMFAO
It’s funny when Tumblr screenshots circulate other websites or you show one to someone who’s not super online and they think they’re supposed to pay attention to the usernames as a part of it so they get really hung up on the fact that a comment comes from a handle like “SloppyMuppetBalls” or “werewolf-smegma-collector.” No not that part. That’s the normal part. Don’t laugh at our dear friend ClownHoleSlurper I’m trying to show you their insightful takes on economics
was going through some of my health records and some doctor put “dresses oddly” next to my psychotic symptoms. hey fuck you too man